Navigating Deployments with Children

Often times young children can't quite comprehend what a deployment is, why it happens, and why their parent is gone for so long. As parents, we want to be good role models for our children and demonstrate how to survive a deployment in a healthy way. While your children will need you to take the lead and rely on your strength, it is important to talk with your children about deployment and help them deal the process, too! It can be challenging to navigate this alone, but there are tons of resources available to military families that assist you with children and deployments. 

3 Key Resources:

Sesame Street for Military Families: This offers numerous resources for children of deployed services members. Find helpful videos, tips, downloadable documents, etc. Link: https://sesamestreetformilitaryfamilies.org/topic/deployments/?ytid=zlRZuVIZQcw

Zero to Three: This offers resources for military families with infants and toddlers. Here you can find tools, resources and strategies for parents. Link: military-and-veteran-families-support

MilitaryKidsConnect: This offers Kids Deploy Too--a website that is designed to help kids (6-17) face the many challenges of a deployment by engaging them in interactive activities. Link: https://militarykidsconnect.health.mil/Military-Life/Deployment

It is important to prepare for questions and emotions that your children may have about deployment. 

1. Talk to other parents who have deployed to get a sense of questions that might be asked, how you should respond and how much you should share. 

2. Think of ways to best explain deployment to your own children by factoring in their age, personalities, and how well they respond to surprises. 

3. Consider getting in touch with Military and Family Support Center, a counselor or chaplain. 

4. Let your children's schools, teachers, coaches and babysitters know of the upcoming deployment so they are aware of the situation. 

Prepare both you and your children. Remember, they may not fully understand why a parent is leaving and they may be afraid of the change. When talking with your children:

1. Talk to them in a way they will understand. Explain what a deployment is and why the job is taking them away. Be sure to explain that it is temporary and find ways to count down the time together. 

2. Let your children ask question and respond to them in an open and honest way. 

3. Reassure your children that you will keep a routine at home, but adjust it to make time for FaceTime, phone calls, mailing letters, etc. Explain that sometimes there will be days where you may not hear from the deployed parent, and plan an activity to do in lieu of it.

4. Stay positive--your children will respond in the same way you do. Assure them constantly that you are there for them and you love them (as does the deployed parent).

5. Spend one on one time with each child before you deploy. 

Deployments are hard, but by using military family resources, you can easily navigate it with your children. Take advantage of the resources around you, be open and honest, communicate with your children. You can do this!